


Star Trek: Star Chef

by CaliforniaBurrito



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: Voyager, Top Chef - Fandom, Top Chef RPF
Genre: F/F, Gen, Top Chef
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:55:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26335246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaliforniaBurrito/pseuds/CaliforniaBurrito
Summary: Eight contestants from across the Federation attempt to cook the finest dishes in the galaxy. In the thrilling conclusion to this season's Star Chef, only Chef Janeway and Chef Picard remain. And their challenge? Something delicious to drink. Who will win?
Relationships: Kathryn Janeway/Seven of Nine
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	Star Trek: Star Chef

“This week on, Star Chef, in our season finale, our remaining two chefs, Chef Janeway from the starship Voyager, and Chef Picard from the starship Enterprise, will prepare a drink that will dazzle the judges once and for all. With their drinks complete, it’s now time for our judges to taste them. Who will win? Janeway or Picard?,” an ominous voice from above bellowed out.

“Chefs, you’ve had 30 minutes. It’s time to see, and smell, what you’ve concocted,” said Captain Jellico, in a stern and authoritative voice.

“Chef Janeway, what have you’ve made for us today?,” Ezri Dax said with a cheerful demeanor and a big smile.

“Judges, what I’ve prepared today will blow your minds. It’s coffee, but not just any other coffee. While in the Delta Quadrant, me and my crew cultivated and harvested coffee beans from local Trabean farms with fairly paid Kazon workers. There are no additives, no cream, no sugar, just delicious, organic, Delta Quadrant Coffee. As we said on Voyager, 'Home is but 70,000 light years away, but there’s coffee right here!' Judges, please enjoy,” Chef Janeway said while making enthusiastic movements with her hands.

Captain Jellico takes an eager sip and grimaces. Ezri takes a moment to smell the aroma of the coffee before happily drinking her cup. Spock, the judge who had until then remained silent, couldn’t help but bellow out a disgusted grunt at the taste of the drink. The decision was clear to everyone in the room, yet the judges refrained from passing judgement just yet.

“Thank you, Chef Janeway, that was...” Jellico paused, as if he was visibly searching for the precise words to say. “...coffee alright,” Jellico finally finished, but now with a disappointed look on his wrinkled face.

“Thank you Judges,” Chef Janeway uttered out as she quickly retreated back.

“Chef Picard, please step forward,” Spock said in a calm voice.

The legendary Chef Picard of the starship Enterprise stepped forward with a glistening plate of well decorated china. In it was the drink that he was synonymous for. “Judges, today I would like to share with you a family recipe, Earl Grey Tea, passed down for generations. My family has, for centuries, grown tea from only the airy climate that the countryside of France could provide. We give attention to the plants from when they enter the earth until it enters our mouths. Please, enjoy!,” Chef Picard said cheerfully while flashing a wide diplomatic grin.

The judges this time all took their time smelling the tea before drinking it. In a coordinated stroke, they downed their samples and gave a varied look, ranging from hidden disgust to plain contempt. Chef Picard, seeing this, wished his trusted Betazed wife was with him so he may have swayed the judges’ emotions, but he knew that they had caught on to this trick earlier the season and so he dared not try again.

“That was...,” Jellico paused again. This time though, the words came more naturally. “...Earl Grey Tea.” It was clear that Captain Jellico was not enthralled by the concoctions that the two remaining chefs had made.

However, Ezri, ever the gleeful one, chimed in, “That was a lovely cup of tea! Now, it’s time for us to give our verdict. Chef Janeway, please step forward.”

Before Chef Janeway could do as Ezri asked, Spock interrupted with a question, his inquisitive mind always working hard. “Chef Picard, do you know that Earl Grey Tea originated from the British Empire?”, Spock wondered in a deadpan tone.

“Impossible, it’s a family recipe,” Chef Picard retorted.

“Computer, from which country was Earl Grey Tea invented in?,” Spock said.

“Earl Grey Tea was invented in the British Empire in the year 1824,” the computer replied.

“Agree to disagree,” Chef Picard said with a soft smile on his face. Chef Picard had been through many trials and tribulations before, and he wasn't going to be fooled by Spock's facts and logic.

The dumbfounded Spock retreated into his chair, not believing what he had just heard. Nonetheless, the other judges understood the cue and pressed on with the judging process. “Chef Janeway, your coffee tasted great! Tell us what inspired you to make it for us today,” Ezri said with another cheerful smile on her face.

“As we all know, being marooned in the Delta Quadrant sucked. But we embraced the suck. We had limited fuel, limited torpedoes, and unfortunately, limited coffee. So early on, we embarked on missions to fix that. I was reminded of that 7 year struggle when I slowly rose above the other chefs here, and that inspired me to create the Delta Quadrant Coffee for you today,” Chef Janeway said with a passion not seen in her eyes since she first set eyes on her life partner, Seven of Nine.

Teary-eyed, Ezri took a moment to collect herself. “That’s such a touching story, Chef Janeway, thanks for sharing it with us. Now, unfortunately, we must decide which one of you will be the Star Chef,” Ezri said, while wiping tears from her eyes. 

Captain Jellico, shifting in his seat uncomfortably, couldn’t contain his resentment any longer. “Chef Picard, your tea was putrid. Awful, just awful. How dare you belittle your ancestors with that. Chef Janeway, what you had given me to drink should be illegal. I don’t understand it. It’s hideous. It’s dry! I don’t understand it, I simply don’t. That said, Chef Picard, your tea was less offensive and disgusting than Chef Janeway’s, so congratulations are in order I suppose,” he barked out.

“Well, this was easy for me. I’ve always loved the raktajino on DS9, so I’m going to have to give it to Chef Janeway! I really enjoyed your tea too though, Chef Picard. Very flavorful stuff!,” Ezri said, still excited as always.

Spock, now the tie-breaker, sats calmly as he reflected on the two drinks. After a tense moment, he says, “Chef Picard, your tea was like many of the other teas that I had tasted before. Chef Janeway, likewise, your coffee was merely coffee. But, there was clearly more...love, in your creation than in Chef Picard's. Therefore, between two unappetizing choices, I must say that your coffee was superior. You are this season’s Star Chef!”

“Oh my gosh!,” Chef Janeway exclaimed, jumping up and down. “Can I take a moment to say thank you to my lovely partner, Seven of Nine and our many, many kids?” Chef Janeway asked the judges to which all of them shook their heads and signaled for the camera to fade out before she could attempt such an impossible task.


End file.
